last night was the first Christmas party of the season. i knew we’d be seeing people we hadn’t seen in a while (that now have kids). the host of this party is now past the 12 week mark and sharing her second pregnancy with everyone, so i was getting my game face on as we drove. i had some feelings of anxiety about it all earlier in the day but decided that i was fine. i am used to this all by now.
the most hilarious part of this story is that the party invite created on FB said “National Lampoon’s Christmas Celebration”. the host, her husband and her husband’s brother are THE biggest movie buffs of all time and love to celebrate movies. they come to our annual halloween parties with the best, homemade costumes, and also often host themed dress up parties.
so, of course, i assume it was a dress up party. i go out and get a white flowy blouse, a long green skirt, a pair of black nylons. i already have a broach and my husband just needs a santa hat to top it all off -
we arrive at the party, which as i open the door, is not just our close friends as suggested on the FB invite. it’s neighbours, co-workers and probably people the host had just met that day at the grocery store (she’s one of those kind of people haha). i made the rounds, showed off my costume and laughed off the mix up. in all honestly, i didn’t really care at all. everyone got a kick out of it and thought it was great. the kids looked at me like i was a crazy lady hahaha that’s when i decided to go upstairs and change into my girlfriend’s clothes for the rest of the night. i chose the first pair of pants i could find and a tight fitting sweater and i looked great. when i came back down, she told me to just keep them because “i won’t fit in those again for at least a year and a half”. score! hahaha
i went back downstairs to join the party and the chat with the only people i knew there. i walked up to a couple we hadn’t seen in a while and the first thing out of the girl’s mouth, “WHERE’S YOUR LITTLE GIRL!??!” once the punched in the gut feeling passed i just laughed and said, “oh no, that’s not us”. her and her husband fumbled back and forth… “he told me you…”, “i thought i saw something on FB…”
this is only the second time this has happened. the first time was absolutely brutal and here’s the cliff notes:
tried for a year and half.
got pregnant, found out it as ectopic.
had surgery and was forced to kill my baby (he/she had a heartbeat of 183)…
got a blood clot that i had to manage all summer.
went to a birthday party in september for my friend’s son.
her father comes up and loudly in front of everyone at the party blurts out “WHERE IS YOUR BABY?”
i am starting to figure out that i have to start to protecting myself even more… never thought i would have to take it to the next level but i guess that’s life right now. i have to learn a new way of protecting myself because i refuse to miss out just because people don’t know how to think before they speak.
we have another christmas party next weekend, the host of that one is also just about 12 weeks pregnant… and everyone going has kids… sigh.