i heard the job title “domestic engineer” on the family feud the other day. it took me a moment to get it. looks like everyone has to have a creative title nowadays ;)
i am most familiar with “stay at home mom – SAHM”. i am also most comfortable using that title.
i have been a SAHM since Maeve was born in april. chris has been fortunate to take half the year off to be home with us as well so we’ve been a SAHC (stay at home couple) for about 5 months now.
chris is going back to work at the beginning of november. that will be the OFFICIAL SAHM start date for me. i know for sure right now that i will not be going back to work at the end of my year off. working in before and after school daycare just doesn’t make any sense now that we have a child. we made the decision that i would not be going back to work when Maeve was 12 months, regardless. for US daycare for our child that is under 18 months was just an idea that we didn’t like. this works for so, so many families, our own extended families and friend’s families included, but we just decided that we wouldn’t send her before 18 months.
we’ve made it a point to talk about about “life after mat-leave” a lot. time goes on, life changes, ideas change. we always want to be on the same page, especially with how our life is evolving as a new family.
my husband is great with financial choices and i can’t lie, i directly benefit from this. i am very fortunate that the choices he and i have made over the years are now working out in amazing ways for Maeve.
i have been a wife for 5 years now and have lived with my husband for 8. i have managed many aspects of our household for years. i shop, cook, clean, organize, run errands. i make our home look “pretty” with seasonal decor and lawn and garden maintenance. my friends call me a “mini martha” hahaha. i have also struggled in this roll at times. i have been very sad and depressed at times. i have had seasonal jobs which involve being laid off for months at a time and in those lay offs i have felt like i’m not equal. truth is i could never be equal to my husband. his annual salary far surpasses anything i’ve ever made. on top of this i have been physically incapable of maintaining our household during times of recovery (after surgery). all of which has made me feel very lost at times. like i didn’t have a purpose. in general, i get S.A.D when the seasons change. have a history of anxiety and depression. since having maeve i have had maybe 2 moments of very short lived anxiety. i have been happy. it is also summer though so with the season changing to fall now i’ll see how i feel going forward.
i know my personality and if i don’t get “everything” done in a day i feel like a failure. i put a lot of pressure on myself and put a lot on my plate.
knowing all of this about myself i have to make a SAHM plan. i need to have certain things planned out each day so that at the end of the day i can feel accomplished. i know a lot of women will think “you’re a mom, you’re accomplishment is raising a baby everyday” and that is most definitely number one. maybe i’m even putting too much pressure myself from the start. maybe i don’t need a plan so much but to just let each day happen. i may start that way but i’ll still have my plan waiting in the wings if i start to feel lost or off track.
i’m going to make certain days “grocery day”, “laundry day”, “yard work day”. i’m going to plan a daily dinner, a task to complete each day in terms of keeping up the household. i’m going to plan at least one outing a day with maeve be it a walk or a community drop-in activity. i feel like picking only 1 thing in each category i will feel accomplished and not overwhelmed.
any other SAHMs that have any input from your personal experiences of being a SAHM, i would looooove to hear from you! challenges. successful strategies. recipes! lol i’m all ears :)