start to finish

you may have noticed i like doing comparison photos.  so since this is my last update before baby girl finally arrives i thought it only fitting to end it all with a series of comparison photos :)

i started photographing my pregnancy journey at 7 weeks.  today i am 39 weeks and 4 days.

what a trip.  it still doesn’t feel real.  i still can’t comprehend what is about to take place.  i can’t fully imagine her being here.

i can’t wait for that moment to come!

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7 weeks                                          39 weeks

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that’s all folks!

How far along?    39 weeks, 4 days.

Total weight gain/loss?  163  +29 – 30 lbs.  I am happy that I didn’t go too far over my hoped for weight goal.  For my BMI the goal for weight gain is 25-35 pounds.  I was hoping for closer to 25 but I definitely didn’t want to go over 35. So I feel right in middle and I am happy with that.  I can see I have gained in my lower half and bit in my upper arms.  I feel like I will be able to bounce back from that fairly quickly.  I am super curious to see how much of this gain is from baby and pregnancy “stuff”.

Gender?  GIRL

Maternity clothes?   Yes, and mixed in pre-pregnancy clothes right until the end.

Stretch marks?   Nope.  I actually had a stretch mark free pregnancy – sweet.

Sleep?  Sleep has been semi induced by benadryl this week.  i wake a few times to pee and take more medication.  All in all I wake up feeling pretty rested.  Saturday night was my first solid insomnia night.  I was up until 4:30 a.m. wide awake. I ate two bowls of cereal during the night and got up to pee about 5 times.  Finally I fell asleep around 5 a.m. and got up at 10 a.m.  Needless to day a nap happened on Sunday.

Best moment this week?  We bought a new car.  A total surprise as I thought that was happening next year but I am very happy about it.  Our ultimate “best moment” will be meeting our baby girl!!!  I really can’t believe the time is finally here xox

Miss anything? My normal body.

Movement? Still moving around so much.  It’s painful now.  Her little feet are all up in my right ribs and it’s not so cute anymore haha.  She hasn’t seemed to drop but I am feeling a lot more happening in my cervix area as well.  Interesting to say the least! lol

Food cravings? Nope.  Just a basic lack of interest in food now.  I’ll eat but I don’t want to cook it and don’t really actually want to eat it.  Trying to stick to light, easily digested foods now that I’m so close to labor.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  Nope.

Symptoms?  Numbness in my right hand, heartburn, constant peeing, BH, terrible itchy rash from hell.

Labor Signs?  Nope.  No cramps.  I did lose a tiny bit of what I can only guess would be my mucus plug on Saturday morning :)

Belly Button in or out?   It’s stretched out flat.  Chris is still waiting for the “pop”.  It’s not going to pop hahaha.

Wedding rings on or off?   Off.  They are clean and ready for when I can wear them again.

Happy or Moody most of the time? Happy.  Nervous.  Excited.

Looking forward to?   Meeting our baby girl!!! xox

scratch and bare it

i was back at L&D this morning at 9 a.m. as planned.

i got hooked up for a NST, which i didn’t think was necessary, but it seems once you’re in L&D that’s just what they do no matter what.  baby girl was sleepy and even my morning coffee didn’t wake her up.  i had a bit of apple juice and poked her a bit and that got her wiggling enough for them to stop the test.

my OB was on for the day so she came in and said she’d check me.  no dice.  cervix is still rock hard.  the nurse said they call people like me “carrots” LOL.

it was so frustrating because as i sat there itching my skin off i listened as one by one, each other woman in the assessment room got admitted and sent in for inductions.  the one right beside me didn’t know how far along she was because she didn’t know she was pregnant until (they are thinking) she was 7 months along!  now she’s 4 cm dilated and the contractions are painless so she didn’t even know if they were contractions… she got sent in for an induction…come on!?!

so my OB said that my liver function test was perfect, nothing abnormal and because i’m not itching on my palms or bottoms of my feet it’s just “something weird that is happening in your pregnant body”.  i was told to continue to deal with the itch as best i can and come for my appointment on tuesday.

honestly, i didn’t think pregnancy would be a walk in the park but my experience with 85% of this pregnancy has been horrible.  i am already looking at being induced and facing the forced labor from hell and now i’m going to be itching the whole way through it?

my right hand middle, ring and pinky fingers have been numb 100% of the day for a couple of weeks now. it is so painful in the night that when i finally get relief from the itch and fall asleep i wake up to unbearable pain in my numbed out hand.  it takes over an hour of massaging, rubbing and shaking each morning just to be able to make a fist and take some of the pain away.

nothing can be planned, god do i ever know that!, but i just really wish i could catch a fucking break here.  it is insanely frustrating when everyone around you tells you to “just hang in there”, “it won’t be much longer now”, “those things will go away as soon as you give birth”.

THEN FUCKING LET ME GIVE BIRTH!!!!!

i’m back to feeling completely worn out and i haven’t even begun to face the challenge of my life yet (aka – labor and delivery).

i am one pissed off mama at the moment.

first visit to L&D

i have seen so many women on here that have been in for NSTs for some reason or another throughout their pregnancies. up until tonight i hadn’t been in for one.

the crazy itchy rash i’ve been complaining about had me at my wits end today. after scratching for two hours straight this afternoon i just couldn’t take it anymore.  chris got home right as i was leaving to go to the walk-in clinic.  he said he’d come with me to keep me company and we headed out right away.

the walk in clinic was so busy they had their “closed” sign up two hours before they actually close so i headed straight to the hospital.  i was a little nervous because i didn’t know if they would think i was crazy lady going in for a rash but i knew i had to take my chances.

we arrived, they didn’t think i was crazy and they registered me.  we waited in the waiting room for about 15 minutes for a nurse.  she asked a quick history and then hooked me up for a NST.  it was pretty uneventful.  baby was moving, her heart rate was great and my blood pressure was fine.  i had “passed” the test before the 20 minutes was up.

the dr. on call came in and explained that they could check my bile salts but the results would take some time and then the medication would take a while to kick in and i am due to be induced in less than a week anyway.  he decided to draw blood for a liver function test.  if anything came back abnormal they could give me a medication to handle the itching until next week.

i had my blood drawn and instead of waiting for the results the dr. told us to go home.  my OB is on tomorrow and will get my results first thing in the morning. he said that she would contact me.  the nurse that was taking care of me said to just come in tomorrow and complain about the itching again and that way i’d get to see my OB.  she said either way i have to come in to get a prescription and maybe if my OB saw me and saw how rough of shape i’m in that perhaps she would start my induction sooner…

i’m heading in for 9 a.m. tomorrow morning.

7 days

i am keeping as busy as i can while we wait until “d day” next tuesday ;)

so far here is what i’ve been doing:

– walks – the dog is loving life right now

– printing pictures and filling out baby books so i’m all caught up when she arrives

– we bought a new car! this one was a total surprise.  we were planning on a new vehicle next year.  we were going to upgrade to a crossover size and my husband would take over my little versa for his commute to work. turns out hyundai has a great deal on right now and just looking at hubby’s 9.5 year old mazda all he could see was at least 4 new car payments going towards fixing things up enough to keep it on the road for one more year. so last night we got this –

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sante fe XL in iron frost

technically we don’t have it yet but we will have it in the next few days. hello new “mommy mobile” hahaha hey, at least it’s not a minivan (yet ;) )

 – baking.  so far i have made a bunch of muffins and today i’m tackling a bunch of no bake energy balls.  fast to make now and easy to grab, defrost and enjoy later

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 – downloading fonts.  i know this one is weird.  i am obsessed with finding “font compilations” on pinterest and then going online and downloading as many of them as i can. yesterday i finally tackled my numerous font pins and was in a downloading haze for well over an hour haha

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 – getting the birth announcement template ready.  this one is sooooo hard now that i have so many awesome new fonts LOL.  i want to make about half a dozen different announcements just to use as many as i can!

 – visiting with family.  my SIL is on her way right now with my nieces for a visit. they live about an hour away and never make it up to visit (we usually go down to see them).  seeing as i shouldn’t travel too far from home now she decided to come up and i’m so happy :)

 – yard work.  this one is tough.  usually i would have had the whole yard, front and back, done in one day but i only got through the front on sunday and about an 1/4 of the back yesterday.  my raked piles of grass, pruned perennials, and bushes are still sitting on the lawn because i ran out of steam before i could bag it up hahaha.

any of you ladies or gents have a favourite meal that freezes and thaws well that you want to pass along?  chris and i are going to do a bit of “cook and freeze” marathon this weekend and i would love any suggestions that you have :)

birth announcement

i have some time to kill now so i am going to get ahead of the game and have the template ready for baby girl’s birth announcement.  i have a couple of styles started already but a quick internet search brought up a bunch neat ideas i could make up as well. here are the few that i saved.

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Fort Knox

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i had my OB appointment this morning and it went just as i had predicted.

i am a steel trap down there.  she said she sees maybe 1 in 50 women that are like me by this stage of the game.  my cervix is as long and hard as it could ever possibly be.  she tried to push her finger up inside and my cervix literally PUSHED IT BACK OUT. ya.

she joked that my body had worked so hard to get this baby inside of it that now it’s decided it’s not letting it out!  i have totally thought this about my body several times.  my first ectopic, my body had no intentions of letting me know that my tube was about to rupture and had no plans to let that baby out.  my blighted ovum, same thing.  my body was hanging on to that one until somebody intervened to remove it.

she doesn’t anticipate anything happening over the next week so i booked an appointment for 215 next tuesday.  she is in L&D on a 24 hour shift on april 22nd so she thinks i should come in on the night of the 21st to get things started overnight. that way i’ll have somewhat of a chance to deliver on her shift the next day.  she is anticipating it will be over 24 hours and not very pleasant for me. perfect.  at least i already have my plan to have an epidural!

9 days.  i have survived 9 days before.  i guess i’ll have to survive it once again (even though it’s total depressing and kind of making me sad at the moment).  the “bright side” takeaway from today – i got to talk to her about these itchy bumps and she let me know i can benadryl while pregnant.  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

i can get all my final ducks in a row this week and be ready for the main event next week.

so ladies that have been there, done that.  what do you suggest i do this week in terms of final preparations?  what did you do that you were so happy you did or what would you like to have done that you didn’t get to do?

It’s not her time…

but it is definitely my time!

i have a stretch and sweep scheduled for tomorrow morning.  or at least i think i do.  my OB was supposed to take a look last week but didn’t.  she assured me she would do something tomorrow but she always seems to have that “oh ya” look on her face when i remind her of things she has said to me in the past.

i am 38 weeks, 3 days.  i know that 40 weeks is full term and it is beneficial for baby to stay in the womb until that point but honestly we have been talking about induction and not going over my due date since i was 16 weeks pregnant and i just feel like this should all be over by now.

my mom reminds me all the time that she had both my brother and i early and it seems like every pregnant person i know is having their baby before their due date.

i do not want to rush baby girl. i don’t ever feel like it’s her that not on schedule because she’s not!  she’s snug and happy and doing exactly what she should be doing.  i just feel like my body is the one that is not cooperating and even then that is insane!  it’s doing exactly what it should be doing also.

this has just been a rough week and i am so ready for labor.  induced or not i am prepared for things to be tough and painful and i just want it to happen.

the absolute worst part of all of this is chris forgot to fill up the water softener with salt and i have been covered, head to toe, but mainly boobs, back and belly, with small, pimply, whitehead bumps that are so INSANELY FUCKING itchy that i want to tear my skin off. well actually, i have started to tear my skin off as they are so itchy and i can’t stop itching them, they have now turned into tiny open sores all over me.  it is so bad that i am up half the night scratching myself in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep until my skin is burn and raw feeling.

i have never had a plan.  my birth plan was the “no birth plan” plan but this is NOT how i pictured things to be going.  i feel so uncomfortable and now physically i look so ugly.  i know it’s vain but i am about to have a bunch of strangers looking at every inch of me and i just feel so gross.  my husband is going to want to take photos of me with our baby girl and i’m going to be covered in red, angry looking pimples… great.  i guess i can take comfort in the fact that i have photoshop hahaha.. ahhh… hhhaaa….sigh.

our last weekend as “2”?

so i have been thinking about monday a lot today.  my dr. is planning a stretch and sweep.  i know that many times it causes some cramps and bleeding and doesn’t result in labor but what if it does result in labor?  that would mean that we’re going to go from 2 to 3 very soon.  that means that my belly would be gone and my baby could be in my arms in just a few days.

my baby could be in my arms.

the moment i’ve been waiting for for years.

i hope it works.