blighted ovum

i really am learning a lot…

http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/blightedovum.html

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careful what you wish for

my husband and i were grocery shopping yesterday.  we were in the produce section and i was explaining to him that i bought this giant asparagus the other day and i had no idea what i was going to do with this giant asparagus….  he looked at me and while i was making the formation of this giant football shaped vegetable in thin air i stopped and asked, “what am i calling it?”  then i shook my head and exclaimed “eggplant!”  i let out a long sigh and as i tossed the bag of green beans i was holding into the cart i said, ” okay, that’s it, i don’t want to be pregnant anymore hahaha”.

a woman shopping near us grabbed her mouth to stifle a chuckle.  we made eye contact and she took her hand away and said, “oh sweetie, that doesn’t matter. mine is 25 and i’m still a scatter brain!”.

today was our first pregnancy ultrasound.  

there was no yolk sac.

be careful what you wish for.

girl

Image

in my first pregnancy i was hit like a Mac truck on several occasions with the overwhelming feeling we were having a boy.  i was only 8 weeks pregnant but i would get the feeling so strongly that i had to start talking to myself and telling myself to relax.  it got to the point that i felt like i had to control myself because if it turned out to be a girl i would have been devastated.

april 3rd, 2012, at 8 weeks we discovered that pregnancy was an ectopic and we lost that baby boy.

in february, 2013, we found out i was pregnant again, one day before our first ever, forget about baby, all-inclusive trip to mexico hahaha… sigh.  hey, at least i figured out they serve non-alcoholic cerveza in mexico! LOL  i did not get attached to this pregnancy at all.  i had not one feeling, other than anxiety, and when we returned after a week away, ectopic #2 was discovered and again, no baby for us.

THIS TIME i have been a mixed bag.  getting excited yet trying to keep my distance….but from the very start that Mac truck feeling kicked in again and it has been a feeling of “girl”.

at 5 weeks i started to detach myself emotionally just in case, but as soon as i shared the news with my mom all hope was lost in terms of not connecting too much, and we have been totally letting ourselves fall in love with this baby.

i have let myself feel a lot with this pregnancy so far and from the very start i have had an overwhelming feeling that this baby is a girl.  out of nowhere i often start to think about the baby being a girl and i have even be so overcome with the feeling that i have started crying on several occasions.  HAPPY TEARS!  very happy tears!

we have 4 nieces and a 5th is arriving in about a month.  EVERYONE is convinced we will have the boy, and i’ll admit i have wished for that for different reasons along the way, but i have fallen in love with little girls and i want a little girl of my own.  happy and healthy is of course the main goal and boys are absolutely WONDERFUL,  i just can’t help this feeling!

our first ultrasound is tomorrow – 7 weeks, 1 day.

i let myself fall head over heels for this little one and i really hope this time we get some good news in a pregnancy ultrasound.  it would be the first time but there is a first time everything, right?!

(…did i mention that we’re not finding out the gender?!  HAHAHA i just LOVE to torture myself obviously! LOL)

Playing Hookey

Playing Hookey

i think i have been fighting a cold for the past couple of days and then “the sickness” took hold this morning big time. so, i did something that i’ve only done 4 times in the past 4 years, and i called in sick to work.

i am most definitely happy i did as the most i’ve done today is hang out on the couch and make a few trips to the washroom.

the internet has been my best friend today 🙂 looking back on some FB pics i saw this pic and remembered this wonderful night not too long ago.

it was chris’ cousin’s wedding. it was hotter than hell. it was the night of the super moon. it was the night of my trigger shot!

the sun was setting at around 8:50 so we left the dance floor, i grabbed my camera and my clutch and we headed out to take a pic. after a fellow wedding guest snapped this one i took off to the porta-potty.

just have to mention – they had these wonderfully, glamorous, air conditioned portta-potty trailers. they were amazing! hahha

at 9 p.m. i did my trigger shot.

wam-bam thank you ma’am – back to the dance floor to dance the night away 🙂