it’s a crazy snow storm and i have a cold. so, at least we didn’t have to worry about getting to the city for my surgery today. (trying to look on the bright side this morning).
there are definitely some things that are harder to be positive about today.
i saw a post about yet another friend that is about to have a baby. oh to get married and then get pregnant. i honestly wonder what that must feel like? the fairy tale coming true. now i have 4 friends due at the time i could have been due… it’s going to be a painful day on march 17th this year and i am already getting myself prepared for the facebook photo bombarding i’ll be faced with on top of it.
another thing i have to get in the mindset for… my niece’s baptism in a couple of weeks. i was asked by my other sister-in-law to make sugar cookies in the shape of crosses and decorated in light pink and light blue with white accents. i love making these cookies and being creative with my decorating but this is going to be a hard one to get motivated about. my sister-in-law’s only worry was that i may not be physically up for the task as it was going to be just a few days after my surgery. i wonder if she thought about how it would be emotionally hard for me? i wonder if that idea has crossed her mind now that she knows the news that my surgery was cancelled and my hopes of IVF are pushed back even further?
i really wonder if people think about these things? let’s keep asking shannon for help with things that she can’t have. lets get her to take photos of our kids. lets get her to make cookies to celebrate the birth of a child. i think they must not think about it. if they did they may know better than to ask… i mean, i’d hope that people that thought about how they were hurting me would chose not to hurt me.
i’m just down. i need to ride it out today and hope that tomorrow will be happier.