what a difference a night can make.
i am a miserable bitch today.
i have had a feeling of intense rage in me since the moment i woke up. my poor husband. i warn him instantly on days like this. he’s out working in the yard, which is one of the triggers of my anger today, but in all honestly it’s best he’s out there and not in here.
it’s rainy and soggy and everything squishes beneath your feet and he’s decided that it’s a good idea to out in the back yard, into my newly growing, tender garden, and dig out decade old tree stumps. he’s going to crush everything around him (he’s a solid dude and nothing he does is ever light or gentle). he’s going to turn the tender grassy areas into mud pits. he’s going to crush the newly growing perennials in my garden. he’s going to track mud all over the deck and then into the house.
his timing for this kind of shit is absolutely impeccable.
i told him he’s really pissing me off deciding to do this today but i’m already mad so he might as well carry on.
my OCD and anxiety is in overdrive today as well.
everything needs cleaning. everything is dirty, hairy, dusty. i need it all cleaned at once but can’t do it fast enough.
my heart is racing and my throat is choking me. i feel like i could scream at the top of my lungs for no reason at any moment.
thanks a lot birth control. you’re really fucking me up, big time, once again.
9 days in, 7 days to go.