could you hurry up sweetie? i want to nest!

i think that fact that the reno is currently underway has kicked my nesting urge into overdrive! (which is crazy because i didn’t think it could get any stronger!).

chris started ripping down walls two days early so that was awesome. he is done that now and he’s starting to frame the new doorway and wall and hang drywall today ūüôā we picked up crown molding samples for the ceiling and shelving today so we could decide together before i head north to my parent’s for a couple of days. ¬†it’s like those home reno shows where you leave and come back and everything is beautiful and amazing and done…except mine won’t be done and i still have to do the painting and clean the house LOL.

all of this is prep for the bathroom reno that will take place this summer but it means that i will finally get the nursery completely completed and i can get things in their proper positions. ¬†most exciting of all i will get to put the crib together ūüôā we have no bedding or a mattress for it but i can at least see the space it takes up and also store some stuff in it. ¬†i only have three pieces of artwork to put on the shelf but it will finally be HER space and i am very happy about that.

apinkladybug asked if i would be posting about the nursery and so for her viewing pleasure, here is the transformation of the nursery so far:

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the lovely wallpapered room and dark stained floor – BEFORE


so many layers of wallpaper! ¬†this is how the 3/4 wainscotting idea was born ūüėČ


midway – floor refinished


painted and pickle stained and pretty much done… until

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are we the only people that redecorate AND THEN RENOVATE!? LOL

so this is the state of the project at the moment. ¬†in a couple of days time we’ll have a new doorway and walls. ¬†we’ll get the ceiling crown molding up and the shelving above the wainscoting done. ¬†we’ll paint and dust and then we can get things settled into their final resting places.


the dresser will serve as the changing table and will be in front of the window.


the carpet can go back down.

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all the stuff that was in this room needs to find a new home, time to get creative with the storage options! haha  the white armoire in the background will be around the corner on the back wall of the room.


the crib will be around the corner (across from window).

here’s hoping for no hiccups while i’m away ūüėČ


christmas update

How far along?¬† ¬† 23 weeks, 2 days. ¬†I was 23 weeks exactly on Christmas day ūüôā

Total weight gain/loss?  I did it, or should I say, Christmas did it. Broke 150 this week.  151 (+17-18 lbs).

Gender? ¬†A sweet baby girl ‚̧

Maternity clothes?¬† ¬†Yep. ¬†Also had a on a few larger, pre-pregnancy tops this week. ¬†Had to go get 4 bigger bras. Two are technically nursing bras but one of them I can wear now (doesn’t have the snap panel cups).

Stretch marks?   Nope.

Sleep? ¬†I have a system of a wedging myself between two pillows. ¬†I feel the filling of a taco lol. ¬†I have also developed the lovely symptom of “restless legs”. ¬†That right there folks, is pure hell!

Best moment this week ‚Äď ¬†At¬†Christmas Eve dinner at the La Rue’s I was sitting on Chris’ lap. ¬†He had his hands on my belly and he felt our baby move for the first time xox. ¬†It was also really nice to get some Christmas gifts for the baby. My mother got her her first little pair of booties xox. ¬†My SIL got us all the things we’ll need for bath time and two nautical themed outfits. ¬†MIL and FIL gave us some onesies as well as bibs that say cute things like “Grandma’s Dream Come True”. ¬†Very sweet.

Miss anything? A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP.  Eating without feeling overly full and uncomfortable.

Movement? Lots.

Food cravings? I don’t even know what they are called but I am craving these little chocolate covered fruit pieces that one of the kids at school put in a Christmas present to me. ¬†They were blueberry and pomegranate. ¬†I think they are called Brookside? ¬†I also think they have them at Costco so I may have to make a run there (I’ll be at 160 in no time! :S)

Anything making you queasy or sick?  Chris has started the nursery/bathroom reno and the lumber smell in the house is getting to me again.

Symptoms?  Heartburn, restless legs at night (kill me now!), slow growing body hair.  This one is weird, my ah-hem, nipples have started to tingle from time to time.

Labor Signs?  Nope.

Belly Button in or out?¬† ¬†Pretty stretched out but not showing signs of “popping”.

Wedding rings on or off?   On.

Happy or Moody most of the time?¬† ¬†Happy. ¬†It’s nice to relax and go at my own pace while on vacation. ¬†It’s making life a little easier on the days my tummy is really full of pressure. ¬†We had really large coupons to use up at Sears so today we purchased a bunch of clothing for the baby. ¬†I could have gone on and on in that department. ¬†Clothing is the one thing that makes me really happy when I buy it for her. ¬†Maybe it’s a bonding thing?

Looking forward to?¬† ¬†Christmas dinner with my husband’s mother’s side this weekend and then THAT’S IT FOR CHRISTMAS! I’m looking forward to my OB appointment on Monday and spending New’s Eve with my brother, SIL and nieces. ¬†Although I don’t want to wish away the rest of my vacation time, I am most looking forward to finally getting into 2015! ¬†I think it will definitely drag at times but we’ll be that much closer to meeting this baby girl once were in the new year.

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bathing suit bump

we turned the hot tub down and i got 10 minutes of pure heaven

touchy feely

it seems so many women find people touching their pregnant belly to be intrusive or rude but i absolutely LOVE it!

the week or so before christmas break some of the children at school started talking to my belly and i think it’s adorable. one of the little girls came over one night to give me a hug good bye and she tickled my belly all over. ¬†then she pressed her mouth against my tummy and said, “good night, see you in the morning”. ¬†the mom looked absolutely mortified and asked me, “is that okay?!”. ¬†i told her straight up, “YES! i love it!”.

we’ve been with family that just lost their father/poppa (great uncle to my husband) over the past couple of days and everyone has been making a point to stop me and cuddle me and rub my belly. ¬†i think that this is wonderful. ¬†to have so many people be so happy for you and love a little baby that they haven’t met yet is an overwhelmingly beautiful feeling.

it also seems almost like a way for people to relive a wonderful part of their lives again. ¬†the ladies rub your belly and their eyes light up as they share memories of what their pregnancy was like or the men rub it and recount the first time they felt their babies in their wives tummy. ¬†they love to say, “just wait til you see a whole arm roll across! ¬†it’s crazy!”.

22 weeks

How far along?    22 weeks, 2 days

Total weight gain/loss?¬† Holding out at 149! (+15-16). I’m pretty sure Christmas dinner will put me over the 1-5-0 ūüėČ

Gender? ¬†A sweet baby girl ‚̧

Maternity clothes?   Yes.  I have try on some of my dressier maternity clothes for a baptism this weekend.  I also, unfortunately, have to find something for a funeral this week.  R.I.P Uncle Roger xox

Stretch marks?   Nope.

Sleep? ¬†Had two good nights in the spare room bed. ¬†It’s softer and I thought I’d figured out the solution but it’s back to¬†terrible. ¬†Last night was the worst night yet. ¬†I woke up several times unable to breath and I had to sit on the edge of the bed and calm myself down. My back is in knots today.

Best moment this week ‚Äď ¬†Feeling movement all the time. ¬†She’s been up off my bladder/cervix and also not putting so much pressure on pushing out my belly. ¬†I keep seeing her push my tummy out when she jabs with her limbs. ¬†I am pretty sure it’s an elbow.

Miss anything? A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP.  sigh.

Movement? Lots.

Food cravings? Not so much.

Anything making you queasy or sick?¬† When I don’t sleep well I feel sick in the morning.

Symptoms?¬† Heartburn has been back this week. ¬†I am LOVING not having to shave my legs. ¬†I wish that this symptom of stunted hair growth would stick around after she’s born. ¬†Life would be amazing ūüôā

Labor Signs?  Nope.

Belly Button in or out?   In.  Stretched out even more.

Wedding rings on or off?   Back on.

Happy or Moody most of the time?¬† ¬†Happy. ¬†Chris and I have just been having a lot of good conversations and lots of fun together. ¬†Of course right after I post about him not being too connected with the belly, it seems he can’t keep his hands off of me now! haha. ¬†He’s very sweet to rub my belly and he’s it’s turning out that he’s one of those guys that is very attracted to his pregnant wife ūüėČ I am not feeling anxious about anything at the moment. ¬†I pretty much have two weeks off of work now and I am in relaxation mode.

Looking forward to?¬† ¬†Enjoying my time off work and taking time to go to the gym and pamper myself a bit. ¬†Unfortunately we will be seeing some family sooner than we thought as a beloved family member, Uncle Roger, passed away this morning. ¬†We will be celebrating his great life in a couple of days and I am hoping that the tradition of spending Christmas Eve together will still continue. ¬†I think it will be the best thing for the family to do, to keep close and keep up the tradition that Roger loved. ¬†I thinks it’s more important this year than ever.

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Christmas party bump xox

(don’t mind my face in these photos….blah. ¬†it’s also midnight haha)

good bye roger


my husband’s great uncle passed away this morning.

it’s a terribly sad event at a terribly unfortunate time of year but he was 93, he passed away in his own home with his beloved dog beside him and it was quick and painless. ¬†i think we should all hope for this when it comes to the end.

he was a great big man that lived a great big life! ¬† he’s left behind a great big, beautiful family as his legacy and today he got to reunite with his sweetheart margaret.

good bye roger, you will be missed by many and will always be remembered and loved.

do i keep it up?

i’m 22 weeks today and i am starting to debate whether or not i should keep up on the weekly pregnancy survey.

it was fun and a way to pass the time in the first trimester as i anxiously waited to get to the halfway mark but now it kind of feels like it’s just a reminder that i still have so much longer to go.

will i feel badly in the end that i didn’t document everything?

will it look like i lost interest when i look back at the scrapbook i’ve put together?

should i go to documenting once a month?

what would you ladies do?

christmas wish come true

i had my umbilical cord and placenta u/s today.

other than having to wait almost an hour past my appointment time with a VERY FULL bladder it was wonderful.  i could almost say it was a wish come true (wait, i did already say that).

i got the best ultrasound tech that i’ve ever had at the hospital. ¬†she was so friendly and we chatted the whole time. ¬†the best part was she checked my cervix quick, quick and then let me go pee! hahaha.

she went on with the rest of the ultrasound and told me not to worry about an eccentric placenta. ¬†lots of women have it and in majority of the cases there are no complications because of it. ¬†my placenta is all on the right side and everything looked good. ¬†it was a pretty long ultrasound. ¬†she checked everything, including baby, which i didn’t know she would have to do. ¬†she mentioned that i’d been through a lot. ¬†she must have read a chart or background on me. ¬†i never bring up my past struggle for this baby. ¬†it’s not why i’m there and it’s part of my past now, it’s not in my prerogative to keep the struggle alive. ¬†she, however, brought it up and we chatted a bit about what it took to get us here. ¬†she couldn’t believe my story and just kept saying “wow”. ¬†she told me “you are the best mom”. ¬†i responded with, “we’ll see and i hope to be!” and just said, “no, you are the best mom. ¬†you’ve already done so much for this baby and you clearly love so deeply.”

she asked where i had my anatomy scan done and i happened to mention that the lady that did was not the most friendly. my tech was so upset and asked me questions to deduce who it was that did my scan (i couldn’t remember her name). ¬†she couldn’t believe how i was treated. ¬†apparently they are supposed to hook the ultrasound machine up to a t.v so we can see everything and “meet our baby”. ¬†i told her it was okay, we did get to see her and got great photos but she was still soooooo upset.

at the end of my scan she asked if my husband was at work. ¬†at first it worried me because i just instantly thought, “am i getting bad news? do i need him for support?”. ¬†fuck. ¬†i’m a bit damaged eh?! ¬†then i realized it was because she was going to show me the baby.

i really thought that i would not get to see her and it was so special that i did.  i cried a bit while she showed me.  i think i was just so taken aback that i actually got to see her and i was touched that this woman understood what it it means to me to see my baby.  even she got teared up.  hahaha.

the technician showed me her heart and kept it there to clearly see all the chambers and watch it beat. she told me her heart rate,138, and let me know she is measuring exactly at 21 weeks, 5 days. she showed me her stomach and bladder. she confirmed that she is definitely a SHE haha. ¬†she showed me me her legs and feet and her head and she kept trying to get me a good profile shot but babe was facing an odd way. ¬†she could get a good head on view so she showed me her eyes and cheeks (as best as you can see those at this point) and her nose and lips (so adorable!) i can’t wait to kiss them xoxo. ¬†this baby was quite the contortionist today! ¬†she was bent at the waist, with her legs stretched straight out and her feet were above her head! ¬†so she was positioned with her bum at my cervix, her back going up my left side and her head was at my ribs with her legs stretched straight up my right side. completely bent in half! LOL

what a wonderful treat i got today ūüôā

Could you imagine?!

this past week i sent out our christmas cards.  i also did my pregnancy scrapbook for the first 20 weeks.

i did these things on the same day, at the same work desk.

in the scrapbook i had an envelop with 3 pregnancy test strips, you know, a totally normal thing to have saved in an envelop.  i was also putting my christmas cards into the same style envelop.  (can you see where this is going?)

i finished up my scrapbooking and finished up my cards.  i put the book away and i put the cards in the mail.

a couple of days ago i was thinking, “i don’t remember putting that envelop back into the scrap book…”


did i mail one of my family members or friends my fucking pee stick strips?!?!?!??!?!

of course i’m thinking this on the way into work so i have 3 hours to wait and get home and see if i have that envelop tucked away anywhere.

i get home, i go up to the office i pull out the leftover envelops and PHEW! there they are.

but could you imagine?!


21 weeks. lets try this again!

How far along?¬† ¬† 21 weeks, 4 days. for real this time ūüėČ

Total weight gain/loss?¬† 149 (+15-16) ¬†so close to the 1-5-0…. :O haha. ¬†I read that after 20 weeks you can gain a pound a week (perfectly normal and healthy) and that kind of freaks me out. LOL ¬†I have struggled this week with self image. I’ve had a cold so I’m puffy and congested and I have just all of a sudden felt and seen the weight gain. ¬†I know I’m in a prefectly healthy range and I’m eating very well, it just kind of hit me that my body is drastically changing right now.

Gender?  Girl

Maternity clothes?   Yep.  This week she has shifted up higher and the once comfy maternity panelled pants have become uncomfortable and painful.  The top of the panel seems to just push on my stomach and cause me discomfort.

Stretch marks?   Nope.

Sleep? ¬†Still terrible. ¬†I don’t know, I guess it’s just the way it is now.

Best moment this week ‚Äď ¬†This week I was very uncomfortable. ¬†The baby was up very high and I think facing backwards again so her back and bum were putting a lot of pressure on my abdomen. ¬†I felt like I was going to explode. ¬†I was willing her to move all day Sunday because I felt minimal movement for a couple of days and next to nothing on Sunday. ¬†It was really bothering me. ¬†Sunday night when we got into bed I decided, against my better judgement, to lie on my back and read. ¬†I don’t know what it was about that but she instantly started kicking or punching. ¬†So much so that I stopped reading, pulled my shirt up and said to Chris, “she’s going crazy!”. ¬†We both looked and you could see my belly being pushed out in all sorts of jabs and pushes. ¬†It was so exciting for both of us! ¬†We just laughed and watched with our mouths open. ¬†It was exactly what I needed to feel better and lift my spirits. ¬†She seems to always know what to do and when to do it to help me feel less anxious.

Miss anything? Still really missing a good nights sleep and a good drink!

Movement? Not too much all week.  Little flutters here and there.  Sunday night was a karate session though haha.

Food cravings?¬†Brie cheese and yes, I ate it (cue shock and gasps hahaha). ¬†I figured it’s baked, bubbling and hot what is going to do?

Anything making you queasy or sick?  I only get a bit gaggy in the morning on work days.  After my coffee I definitely need to have snack with the kids.

Symptoms?¬† ¬†Pressure, pressure, pressure! ¬†Wowza, it’s pretty intense some days.

Labor Signs?  Nope.

Belly Button in or out?   In.  Starting to stretch out.

Wedding rings on or off?   Off this week.  I was really puffy.

Happy or Moody most of the time?   Worn out.

Looking forward to?¬† ¬†I am looking forward to my umbilical cord and placenta ultrasound tomorrow. ¬†Maybe I’ll catch a glimpse at the baby? ¬†Not likely though, it’s being done at the hospital and they are super strict. ¬†It’s going to be a fun, relaxed week at work. ¬†We’re watching a movie over the next couple of afternoons and having treats. ¬†My staff meeting is a night one at a bar this month and we’re doing a Secret Santa. ¬†I get an automatic car starter installed on Wednesday!!! Chris’ work party is Friday night with another Secret Santa and we’ll see some old friends at their son’s baptism this Sunday.

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i’m so f-ed

i am really f-ed guys.

i feel like i am so BIG. ¬†there is so much pressure. ¬†i can’t breath. ¬†i can’t eat, like anything. ¬†like a few bites to a full meal, without getting obscenely full and uncomfortable. ¬†i can’t sleep. ¬†i toss and turn all night. ¬†i use a pillow, i use a snoogle, i don’t use anything, i don’t sleep. ¬†i lie on my right side too long i pull the muscles in my back so badly i’m in so much pain i can barely move. ¬†i lie on my left side and i can’t fall asleep. my body feels like a huge heart beat. ¬†all i can feel is my heart beating, so hard in every part of my body, all the time. ¬†sometimes it’s beating so hard i can’t lie on my left side because it hurts my ribs. i can barely get in and out of the car. ¬†i have to wear full snowpants, coat and boots everyday to take the kids in and out and i want to cry trying to get all that gear on. once i do get it on i feel like a sausage. i am so stuffed into my clothes it’s sickening. ¬†maternity clothing is uncomfortable. ¬†the pants and leggings with the belly panel push against my stomach and make me feel sick. ¬†my movements have drastically changed. the way i walk is foreign. ¬†i can’t even talk normally without getting winded.

i am only 21 and half weeks pregnant.

i’m so fucked!