it’s a hard knock life

42 days postpartum and Maeve is 6 weeks old!

maeve has been here for 6 weeks and they have been pretty great.

sleep has changed from week to week to but this week she is back to sleeping in her bassinet through the night.  i had her in the bed because at the time we could all get more rest that way.  however, it started to be that maeve and chris slept like logs and i woke up all the time making sure she was okay.  maeve is amazing through the day while we go about our daily routine and errands so come 5/6 p.m. when she is more needy and fussy and in need of closeness to me i surrender fully and after dinner we spend the evening on the couch or bed.  she seems to like to suckle on my breast for most of that time. i’ll give her only one side and then by 9/930 p.m. she’ll have a really hard time while i get ready for bed.  chris is a saint and holds and rocks her while i am away. she just wails (more like yells actually haha).  once we’re settled in bed i’ll give her the other side and she actually eats and then falls asleep and i can transfer to her bassinet.  she is usually in there by 10 p.m., 11 at the latest, and we all get to bed.  she has been sleeping until about 3 a.m.  i change her diaper while she is still groggy and then she eats for about 20 minutes.  i put her back in the bassinet and she’s back up around 5/6 a.m. at that point i’ll bring her into bed with me and we’ll keep sleeping. if she keeps sleeping i can wake up around 7:30 a.m. and she’s still in the bassinet. the latest we’ve slept in in the bed is 8:30 a.m.

maeve likes her play mat and when she’s changed and content she can go about 15 minutes playing happily on her back. she is also very good at tummy time and goes for about 10 minutes i think.  she has strong neck muscles!  she can hold her head up for several seconds at a time (i’m not crazy enough to time it haha). i filmed her first time really holding her head up the other day. i was a very proud mommy.  yesterday i got a photo of her

rolling to the right side, from back to front, happened this week.  she doesn’t just consistently do it but she’s such a mover i don’t know when she’ll decide to do it so we’re keeping a real close eye on her when she’s on the couch or change table. she is such a busy baby that already she isn’t content to just lie back in your arms. if she is awake and not playing on her mat she wants to be upright and looking around.  that is very hard when she is only 6 weeks old.  i am starting to get a little bit of a workout with her in this sense.  we spend a lot time looking at each other.  i bounce her, sit her on her nursing pillow, sing to her and make faces.  she really likes to sit on the back deck. she is so calm when we are outside.  i sit her on my lap facing out and she holds my fingers and takes it all in.

we’ve gone up to size 1 diapers.  she was in a middle stage for about a week where newborns were getting too tight but 1s were so huge.  now the ones are fitting better.  we just do the velcro clasps right tight together in the middle.  so far, no poop leaks 🙂

we went the dr. about the thrush situation again this week.  there is no change in my boobs.  maeve tongue is less white but her raw bum rash is back.  the dr. said to use the canesten on her bum instead of diaper cream and to stop treatment on myself.  if she’s not better by next week we have to go in again.  i always just wonder what are you going to tell me to do next week that you can’t just tell me now?  my poor baby’s bum… i guess she’s got to keep her pay cheques coming somehow haha.

i ordered two ring sling carriers for maeve. i love the ergo but i was looking for a way to carry her and feed at the same time.  i watched a few videos online an i really like the ring sling for that purpose. i found a woman her in ontario that makes them and i also found that she makes the carriers in mesh material for use in water!  they are also great for very hot days. light mesh material for amazing for air flow and is super fast drying.  i won’t use it for outdoor use with maeve this summer, i don’t think.  i think it’s recommended to keep them out of water until after 3 months?  i have to research that one.  i plan on using it at the local YMCA later this year and perhaps in the shower.

Little Luv Slings

i gotten really into styling maeve and taking photos.  what a past time, i know hahaha.  here are a few photos i’ve taken.

my living doll xox

things are the same with me.  same weight. same activity level. same mood and happiness level.  my skin on my face is really going nuts.  i got so much acne on my chin while i was pregnant and it hasn’t seemed to stop.  although this is more of a very dry skin issue than an acne issue but it’s really bad and all over my chin and up around my mouth to my nose.  not sure what to do about this…

my carpal tunnel is still there, not as sever as before but still very uncomfortable and painful.  i spoke with a woman that had it for over a year after her pregnancy and i’m like “oh HELL NO!”.  she said acupuncture worked for her so i’m calling linda asap! (that my naturopathic dr.).  i am also going to stop being suborn and i’m going to get a supportive wrist band.

my back is effed!  it hurts all the time.  it’s like i have zero strength back there.  which is probably true.  i have done jack all in months in terms of strengthening my muscles.  i am starting to feel very self conscious about my upper arms.  it’s very hot and it’s tank top season.  i used to get away with covering up with a nice cardigan but now i’m exposed hahaha. i am sure that people aren’t thinking twice about my bat wings and so i am trying very hard to just except myself for the way i am right now and to be comfortable in my skin.  (it’s really hard though). still holding at 142/143.

bathroom reno #1

we’re truckin’ away on bathroom number one.

chris is amazing in handling my OCD issues during renos.  he sealed himself in the upstairs bathroom and lowered buckets of debris down to me on the deck.  then i took that and dumped it in the trailer to go to the dump.  it was awesome!  we pretty much have to do it that way otherwise the whole house is coated in plaster dust.  if you don’t own an old home you will have no clue what it’s like working with plaster walls so i will tell you, IT’S FUCKING TERRIBLE!

we only have one full bathroom so he has to work around the existing tub while he puts in the shower but he planned everything so well, it’s working out perfectly.

last week we went to an area down south from us, Vaughan, and picked out all of our tile.  you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to choose tile. we looked all day and that’s even with a good idea of what we wanted to find. we found an incredible deal on marble and got it for $6.99 a sq/ft!  it’s not polished but since we’re using it in the bathroom and little feet will get it all wet, we like that for the non-slip factor. the last store was where we found everything else we needed.  we went with an unpolished dark grey marble for part of the border on the floor of the bathroom. we’re also using that tile for the floor of the shower.  it looks amazing when it gets wet and turns almost black.  we’ll be using 3×6 white, glossy subway tiles for the shower walls and also as the outer border on the floor.

we found our vanity a while ago at an auction. this is where chris is going to install the sink and will alter the height and drawers a bit to customize it for the bathroom.  (the basin on it is not going to be the sink).

this weekend at a local antique market we finally found “THE” mirror. it’s 4 feet long and will hang perfectly over the vanity 🙂

35 days postpartum (+4 days)

i am not so good with timing these days.  it also doesn’t help that wordpress is not saving my drafts.  very frustrating.

so many things have happened this week.  can i remember them all?

i had my post c-section follow up with my OB.  i still have to take it easy for a little while but my incision has healed well.  we chatted about future babies and deliveries and, for now, we agree that my subsequent pregnancies will have planned c-sections. i bled a lot during my c-section so my OB was only able to put in one set of stitches when closing up my uterus (she said that she usually does a second set nowadays). there are risks associated with trying a vbac and with my history of not being able to manage my pain with epidurals and blocks it just doesn’t really make sense to try that.  i am sad about this a little bit.  now that i have had time to look back on my delivery, i am a little sad about how it went.  i didn’t get to “give birth”.  i didn’t see my baby girl as she entered this world.  she arrived safely and was super healthy though so that is really all that matters.

i’m holding pretty steady with my weight.  not losing but at least i’m also not gaining. i had a day where i was at 141 – 7 lbs over pre-pregnancy but now i’m back up to fluctuating between 142 and 143 again.

i had a couple of days where i started doing a bit more.  went for a power walk with a friend and did it with our babies in their strollers.  i felt good at the time but for the past few days my incision and the surrounding area has been very sensitive.  this can also be because the numbness around the site is lessening. very tender and sore.  there is something about the feeling around an incision site that i just can’t describe.  it’s really terrible. it actually makes me shudder it’s so awful.

i still have numbness in my right middle finger constantly from carpel tunnel.  dr. says i just have to wait it out.  not impressed.  i have still have the numb patch on my upper stomach under my right rib cage.  i don’t know what is going on there, i never have known what that’s all about. i was told by my OB that it is common in pregnancy but there is no real reason for it.  i am wondering if that will ever go back to normal?

i wonder when my linea nigra will fade?  it’s still very dark.

maeve is a strong baby.  i know, every mother thinks their baby is strong and smart and “advanced” hahaha but honestly, this baby is very strong.  she does the “half roll” or full roll just without the ability to move the arm that is tucked under her body.  i first saw her do this at around the 3 week mark but now she’s doing it very often when she is on the bed or on her play mat.

tummy time is going well.  she seems to “like” it, she doesn’t fuss or cry.  she can really hold her head up high and for a several seconds.  i haven’t gotten a photo of it yet but i have taken some video.

video! i am trying to film everything! she’s 5.5 weeks old and i feel like i need to capture all her little grunts and squeaks and movements.  i can never get them back and she’s changes day by day.  i love it and hate it at the same time!

maeve’s thrush seems to have gotten better.  her tongue isn’t so white and her bum is all cleared up. my nipples/breast though don’t feel any different. they still have shooting pains and my nipples tingle.  i guess we’ll see if her mouth gets bad again or her bum breaks out, then we’ll know for sure.

chris is slowly trucking away with the bathroom reno.  we have been taking time for family time over working time.  it’s better that way.  (posting more about the reno separately).

i feel like we’re really close to real smiles from maeve 🙂

i know i have forgotten SO MANY THINGS!  (i’ll add them in as i think of them).