not pregnant anymore

thanks to everyone that has been thinking of us and checking in to see how things are going over here. 

unfortunately, i caught my pregnancy just as it was ending. 

HCG from Friday was 8.

very sad but counting our blessings. 

after going through many, MANY possible scenarios we’ve decided to hold off until at least next year to think about how and if we’ll move forward with growing our family. 

not like i didn’t already feel it but this attempt and loss has really hammered home the fact that Maeve is such a MIRACLE.  

i hate that opening up to try again temporarily had me thinking that maybe our family of three wasn’t good enough. 

for right now it is so much more than good enough.  

it also made me realize that Maeve is STILL A BABY.  i want to enjoy every single moment before this amazing age is just a memory that I’m longing to go back to.  

so, i guess that’s it from this little blog for a bit.  

take care everyone! 


Still waiting for HCG But

this time there was also a test done on my TSH and in the past two months it’s gone from

2.28 to 2.08 to 1.34

i have been feeling amazing lately. so much energy.  happy.  excited about doing things. eating well.

this is reminding that i need to sit with my family dr. and discuss this thyroid stuff with her and see what her thoughts are on these changing levels and how drastically different i feel at each level.

Go in again today

The nurse asked me to in for blood today instead of tomorrow just to see what direction the number is going in.

I did a cheap HPT this morning and there is the fastest of faint lines so I am pretty sure I know which direction we will see it going in.

honestly, I am completely okay. I have never been able to be this okay with a lost pregnancy and it is such a peaceful feeling.

I’m loving on Maeve today and counting every single blessing in my life.



so my beta result is 17.

really not great.  maeve started at 33 so i know i draw low numbers. i am disappointed but not really thinking it’s over.

my next draw is on saturday morning.

if the number takes a dive then it was, what it was. if the number continues to climb and doubles i won’t be too excited.  first ultrasound is the only true confirmation.