name game

since we found out that we’re having a girl the name window has opened up again.

i thought we’d chosen a name.  chris was very specific (picky) about the name, two syllables and starting with a “M”.  i went along with it.  i had even given him the name he liked most and i was given the kind of “out there” middle name that i liked most.

now that we know for sure, HE was the one to start back into looking at other names.

he likes old fashioned names. i do too. we have a few that we kind of agree on and a lot that we don’t.  so imagine my surprise on friday night when he came home and told me as long as we go back to the original plan of using our mother’s names as the middle names, i get to name the baby, no questions asked.  no debating.  all my choice.

really?!

he told me that i have gone through all the pressure, stress, pain, feeling terrible and on top of all that i have to give birth, so it makes sense that i would get to name the baby what i like.

the plan is to have several names ready and when the baby arrives and i’ll see which one stands out for her.

so looks like some of those names i thought i’d NEVER GET IN A MILLION years are back up as potentials!

The list so far (in no particular order):

Blyth

Allegra

Cate

Marigold

O’Hara

Mia

Poppy

Farrah

Beatrice

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200 and one!

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i just got a notice from wordpress that i have reached 200 followers! well actually it’s up to 201 now 😉

200 hundred may be small potatoes for some bloggers but not for me!  i think it’s pretty huge.

thanks for following me and my little journey through life at the moment.  it’s not much but it’s special to me and i love that you like joining me for the ride.

xox

the reveal

tomorrow is my niece’s 3rd birthday so my whole family will be together and we will be able to drop the bomb that we found out the gender after all 🙂

i was thinking of cute ways to tell everyone that it’s a girl and what i think would be the most fun is to have my niece tell them.  i can get her to say, “nana, nana, nana (because she always says nana three times -so cute), aunt sham is having a baby girl!”.  i’m sure my mom will say something like, “yes?  you think aunt sham is having a girl? maybe, we’ll have to wait and see” and i can be like “nope, she’s right!”.  they are going to be so shocked.  i think my mom will be a little heart broken.  we chatted last night and she kept say, he and him.  awwww.  oh well, maybe next time!

for my husband’s parents we got a “little miss” book.  little miss fun to be exact.  we’re going to give it to them and say they can read it when the baby comes over.  inside there is a To: / From: area where we’ll write, “to grandma and grandpa” , “from granddaughter #4!

i am so excited i almost let it slip to my mom and my SIL already.  i just constantly repeat in my head “don’t say it, don’t say it!”

just one more day to keep our little secret.

mother’s intuition

the heart rate is low

my pee made the baking soda fizzle (haha)

the ring rocked back and forth

the skull looked “blockish”

i’m carrying low

i craved sour flavours

my heart says it’s a BOY

the ultrasound tech says:

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HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! WHAT?! so much for a “mother’s intuition!”

i was in complete shock!  how can this be?  i KNOW it’s a boy! LOL  oh my goodness, a little baby girl, we couldn’t be happier!  xox

the technician was ALL BUSINESS.  no smiles.  no small talk.  no how are you feeling? is this your first?  i knew it was an in depth exam with lots to see and check but come on lady…. have a little bit of heart.

normally this silence would have worried me big time but today i was good.  i laid back and listened to all the beeping and clicking and in the end she said the CD was burning and she’d go get chris.  then the only moment i was really waiting for, we got to see our peanut. or i guess now i can say, our baby girl!

so sweet.  so perfect.  little heart beating, bladder full hahaha legs crossed and arms waving.

i was happy before but today i’m in love.

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i’m weak!

baby1

i am so weak.  i thought i was strong but i’m not. i reeeaaalllly want to find out the gender tomorrow.

not really because of the anxiety i felt a couple of weeks ago about being better prepared but just because of the plain fact that we CAN find out tomorrow.  i’m just so excited to find out.  i am also really curious at this point if i’m right.  i am feeling boy so strongly i just want to know if my instincts are correct.

chris is still totally strong and settled on not finding out so i don’t think i have any chance that he’ll cave and agree to find out tomorrow.  he’s so stubborn and set in his ways.  he make his choice. that’s it! that may be a good thing because i also don’t know if the feeling of disappointment in myself for not being strong enough to just wait will be worse than my desire to know.

at this point i am just hoping that the baby doesn’t cooperate and no one can see what the gender is!  completely out of my control that way 🙂

SIGH.  this is way harder than i thought it would be.

pregnancy update

How far along?    18 weeks, 2 days.

Total weight gain/loss?  144.0 (+10 or 11)  lost a little bit this week.

Gender?  Still think it’s a boy.

Maternity clothes?  Yes.  I am now wearing maternity all the time. I can fit in my leggings and tops but pants are all maternity now.

Stretch marks?   Nope.

Sleep? Toss and turn frequently but feeling rested in the morning regardless.

Best moment this week –  For sure, no mistaking it feeling the baby moving now.

Miss anything?  I wanted a rum and coke after seeing a commercial for rum hahaha.  I miss being able to do the things I used to do with ease, like shovelling the driveway.  Chris was pretty lazy this week and we still only have one half of the driveway cleared (which I did – slowly and carefully of course haha).

Movement? Yes.  I can finally feel distinguishable movements.  I hope I’m not getting too technical but I feel lots of “blubs and glubs” throughout the day. LOL.  Especially when I sit down at the computer.

Food cravings?  I’ve really felt like fast food this week.  Happy to report I did not cave into that one.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Kind of back to feeling a bit gaggy if I get too hungry.  Only sometimes though.

Symptoms?   Peeing all the time.  If I sit for a long time I don’t feel the need to go, then I get up and WOWZA, get me to the washroom ASAP. haha

Labor Signs?  Nope.

Belly Button in or out?  In.  I just realized I should have been putting “in” here all this time.  duh.

Wedding rings on or off?   On.

Happy or Moody most of the time?  This week I was very moody with my husband and feeling anxious about having too much clutter around the house.  Today I have done a big purge of blankets, towels and bedding.  Going to get storage bins as soon as I’m done typing this 🙂

Looking forward to?   I’m very much looking forward to our anatomy ultrasound on Wednesday 🙂

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maternity leggings are hilarious! LOL

Added in an extra photo.  I have felt a huge shift in my body this week.  My waist and ribs are back and my belly looks really low now.

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wowza.  i am in so much pain right now.

that seemingly harmless cyst that we discovered a few weeks ago has decided to wreak some major havoc.  for the last three days the pain has been getting worse and worse.  it started off as a stitch in my right side of my upper abdomen.  then yesterday it was tender and painful all around my lower abdomen.  today it’s a sharp stabbing, burning pain in a very acute area (my ovary).

of course my dr. is at a conference out of town and no nurses are in the office but i can call and talk to the receptionist if i want that has no idea what to suggest or any way of helping whatsoever.  it’s the thought that counts, right?  in the meantime i can wait until monday when the office will be running normally.

fuck.

no need to worry just yet.

so after having a total hyperventilating episode in the exam room with the nurse, she skipped the preliminary check-up stuff and got the doctor right away.  in all that i have been through, i have NEVER gotten that worked up before.  a little embarrassing but totally justified i think.  no one seemed bothered by it hahahaha.

i was able to talk to my husband right before i went in. he is in the city working today and it was good timing that he was on a break for the actual appointment time.  if anything sounded really bad i was to call him and have him on speaker phone with the doctor.

the doctor came in and immediately told me everything with IPS results was normal.  i could finally start to regulate my breathing at that point.  she went on to say that there is a blood level in the test that they are starting to keep track of to see if it is an indicator for issues with the placenta.  she said if my family doctor had seen this level i wouldn’t have even been told about it, but as an OB she sees dozens of the tests and looks deeper into them.  it is not definitive yet but in some cases women with a low blood level (in that particular category) have had some issues with the function of the placenta and the growth of the baby.  i have to keep my anatomy scan for next week and my follow-up appointment after that but i will be contacted with an additional u/s appointment that will take place at the hospital.  it is to check the placenta and the umbilical cord (an umbilical doppler i think she called it?).

she has had ladies with this low blood level and it has turned out nothing is wrong, their babies grow normally and they deliver naturally at due date or beyond.  others have some growth issues and have to be induced early.  some have a little bit of growth issues, are not allowed to pass their due date and are induced on their due date.

i am allowed to keep working out, going to work, doing everything normally.  i’ll have that ultrasound within the next couple of weeks to see for sure what is going on.

the baby’s heartrate came up right away at 140. my pee was normal haha and i have gained 2 pounds since my last visit.

thanks for the messages ladies.  your mind can go in some pretty crazy directions when you get a call to go in for an unplanned appointment. thanks for being there for me!

🙂

going in early

i have an appointment on december 1st for the results of my anatomy scan which is happening on the 26th of this month.

my doctor’s office just called to have me in to go over my IPS results today at 12:30 p.m.

this is really bad isn’t it?  if everything was okay she would just be telling me this on the 1st wouldn’t she?

i’m am so scared right now. i’m all alone. my husband is in the city working and not answering his phone.

Week 17

How far along?    17 weeks, 2 days.

Total weight gain/loss?  145.6 (+11 or 12)

Gender?  Still keep thinking it’s a boy.

Maternity clothes?   I am getting a whole bunch of maternity clothing from a friend tomorrow.  Included are some bonuses that I didn’t know she was giving me.  A winter jacket, holiday dresses, nursing bras, bio oil, raspberry leaf tea.  I am excited to see all the things she is generously passing along to me. I hope some of the skinny jeans fit.  I’m getting a little tired of leggings and long tops.

Stretch marks?   Nope.

Sleep? Sadly, it is the same as last week. Still getting up in the night a couple times.  Really tossing and turning.  I am finding my back and neck hurting a lot so I roll around often.

Best moment this week –  It was great to get a doppler this week. I also made it back to the gym twice this week.  What a great feeling to sweat a little and work all the muscles I’ve been neglecting for the past few months.  I love my little belly in my workout clothes 🙂

Miss anything?  This week was the first time I actually missed being able to have a drink.  We went out for dinner at an Italian restaurant and all the wonderful, full glasses of red wine were just taunting me!

Movement?  No.  I am really not feeling anything.  I’ve thought I was feeling things the past couple of weeks but I realize I’m not feeling anything at all.

Food cravings?  I really wanted pizza this week.  More specifically I wanted green peppers and mushrooms.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  Nope 🙂  I finally beat MS.  Woo hoo!

Symptoms?   Peeing a lot.  Sometimes my legs feel like they are on the verge of cramping.  I quickly stretch them and it goes away, thank goodness.  Headaches are coming back and heartburn kicks in from time to time.

Labor Signs?  Nope.

Belly Button in or out?  N/A

Wedding rings on or off?   On.

Happy or Moody most of the time?   I am feeling very happy to be getting back to myself but I definitely have bouts of worry.  Even though I heard the heartbeat I am still just feeling so strangely about how things are going.  I wish I could love not having MS symptoms anymore and enjoy having all my energy back but I just feel weird that something is not right.  My belly isn’t growing and I don’t feel the baby.  It’s a very anxious stage for me.

Looking forward to?   I’m looking forward to going to a Christmas Special of the Vinyl Cafe on Wednesday night.  Should be quite entertaining.

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At times I think I’m not changing much at all but then I looked back at photo #1 and yep, I definitely am!

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